Why is it so hard to just get on with it and write? Why is it such a big deal to start blogging again? All I know is that I'm pretty darn terrified. I'm scared that people will hate what I write, or worse, not care. When I've blogged before, it's been on a private site and the only "public" writing I've done has been carefully edited by someone else. Then there's music, which I find much less scary, seeing as then I have a guitar, a bass or at least a microphone to hide behind.
Now, I'm writing with the intention of being read and I'm bogged down by the feeling that I don't have the right to do this. Who am I to take up space here? Who am I to publish freely? Who do I think I am? Well, I'm a writer. That's who I think I am. I'm a woman, a writer, a musician, a knitter, a traveller, a Millennial, an introvert, a creative and that's just a handful of words that describe me. I'm a human, and if Doctor Who ever taught me anything it's that humans have value just because we're human.
Reading the opinions, thoughts and feelings of other humans has helped me on more occasions than I can count, so why not me? What would the face of Literature look like if every writer gave in to insecurities?
Here I am, giving myself permission. Here's a website, a creative space that I've made for myself to do with as I please. This post may be sounding a little aggressive in places, but it's just because I refuse to let myself undermine myself anymore. I've been my own bully for too long.
So; Welcome, whoever you are, to my little corner of the internet. Engage with me if you would like to, write to me if you would like to and join me in this creative endeavour. Let's be kind to ourselves and each other. This is going to be scary, so I'm going to end this first post with a line I read in Greta Solomon's "Heart, Sass & Soul":
"Remember that the best way to protect yourself is to love yourself fiercely." (Solomon. Mango. 2019.)